Let’s get one thing straight. You are screwed up. Every human on this planet faces the same fate. Can you imagine all of us screwed up people trying to relate to each other without first looking at ourselves and what we show up with?

There is an old saying that goes, ‘wherever you go, there you are.’ Have you noticed a pattern in most of your relationships? No matter how hard you try, you tend to attract the same types of people. When they do arrive, you tend to make the same demands and same mistakes. What’s the common element in this picture? You!

You are unique, one of a kind and special in your own way. There is not another human being on this planet like you. Yes, who you are speaks very loud wherever you go and you can’t run away from yourself no matter how hard you try. So you might as well follow Socrates advice and get to know yourself and dissect what you are showing up with.

For some of us the following concept is difficult to accept. If you are not willing to get to know who you are, it is going to be very difficult to get to know God. Yet as you get to know God, you will get to know yourself better. The bottom line is this, if you try to escape from facing yourself by blaming it on your relationship with God you are playing the ostrich game. Yes, only your head is in the sand.

You were created to live in two worlds, a spiritual world and a physical world. To be whole you need both. Conversely, you were created to live with yourself and to live with others in the outside world. I am advancing that unless you pay close attention to how you are living with the one and only you, success with the outside world will be fleeting.

A relationship with yourself must be a starting point for all relationships. It was Plato who said, “The life which is unexamined is not worth living.” So how relevant are you with yourself? How real are you with yourself? How much time do you spend caring for yourself like you care for the one you love the most? I do realize that some may view this as selfishness or self-centeredness. However, I am attempting to help you find relational balance in a world where we spent so much time worrying about selfishness that we starve ourselves. Indeed, we must find balance.

Eleanor Roosevelt had it right when she said, “Somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.” What about those of you who never took the time to learn who you really are, whose decision are you living with?

In order to be able to receive God’s love or anyone else’s love, you must have a receptacle. I am proposing that you were created with a beautiful receptacle that has been damaged and for some, broken. As you get to know you, under the guidance of a loving God, you can rebuild a new and better receptacle. That is the first step in any type of relationship.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? Luke 9:25-26

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